You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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