I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
