if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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