I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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