Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
