He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
