I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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