I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
