I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
