dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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