You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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