I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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