please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
