I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
