can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
