So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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