i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Terrible idea I love it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
