We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
