the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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