Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
