I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this will be a night to untag.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
