we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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