i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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