I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
