guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
