oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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