so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
