this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
