What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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