i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
