Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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