I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
