I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
