How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
