Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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