lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
