Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
