Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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