Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
