Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
