my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
