That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
