Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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