We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he puts the penis in happiness.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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