Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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