I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
