coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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