Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
