No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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