So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
