i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
where are you?
Hypothermia
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
