sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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