Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
