How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
