Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
