That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
