Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
