Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
