I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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