Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
