i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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