Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
