dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
