If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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