She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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