is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
