i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
