How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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