Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
