I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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