does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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