making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize