i think my mom watched the whole time
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
