I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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